Mediation Training Workshop at Fletcher

By Susan Williams (MALD '00)

Fletcher students are perpetually overcommitted. I'm no exception—besides taking the usual four classes, I'm conducting a job search, working part-time, and co-chairing a student group. Because of this, I debated whether or not to participate in the mediation training offered at Fletcher over the course of two February weekends. After 30 hours of mediation training, however, I know I made the right decision.

The training offered by Mediation Works, Inc. (http://www.mwi.org/) was fun, frustrating, educational, and draining, all at once. MWI came to Fletcher as a result of a year-long conversation with Professor Eileen Babbitt about the possibility of offering a mediation workshop and practicum for Fletcher students. The trainers faced a sleepy group that first Sunday morning, as many students were recovering from the Blakeley Beach Party. After introducing themselves, the trainers presented us with markers to draw a picture of something that people didn’t know about us. Possibly the most startling revelation was that of Davis Bookhart (MALD '00), who admitted to being secretly in love with Jen Lahue (MALD '00). (Don’t tell his wife.)

Simulated mediations were at the heart of training. The trainers divided the students into small groups and assigned each student to the role of mediator, party, or observer. I got the chance to mediate the first day. Along with my co-mediator, Vashti Van Wyke (MALD '01), I faced the challenge of parties who didn’t listen when we announced that we wanted to take a short mediators' break (or "caucus" in mediation lingo). Our parties bickered realistically and did not reach agreement within the time allotted. It quickly became apparent that most Fletcher students (or at least the training participants), are good actors, really getting into their roles. After this and all simulations, the trainer and the student observers would offer comments about what "went well" and what to "do differently." This terminology, which emphasizes the positive, is typical of the language of mediators, who talk about "issues" rather than "problems" and don’t mention the word "compromise."

A jovial group of newly trained mediators (photo courtesy MWI)

As important as it was to gain experience mediating, it was also draining. I was surprised to hear one trainer say that he found mediating to be the most relaxing thing in the world—he reasoned that it is up to the parties to solve their problem. In the mediation model we learned, mediators are not supposed to be problem-solvers—they do not offer solutions to the issue before them. This was a challenge for many of us when we thought we had the perfect solution—but we had to bite our tongues. It was up to the parties to work out their own solutions.

I preferred being a party to mediating among them. Can you imagine anything more amusing than pretending to be a college guy who has recently fallen in love and now spends all his time with his girlfriend, to the detriment of his relationship with his roommate, played by Jen Lahue, who can no longer lounge around in boxer shorts? (I thought she was just jealous, since she didn’t have a girlfriend.) We couldn't work out our differences, and she ended up moving out. Though the trainers called mediation "a forgiving process," I knew that the techniques the mediators used had an impact on the outcome. As the trainer demonstrated the questions he would have used, it was clear that the mediation could easily have come to a different conclusion.

The group probably laughed the most during the demonstration of "dealing with difficult personalities." The room erupted in laughter as two student mediators were forced to deal with Eric Davis (MALD '01), playing a loud, aggressive, foul-mouthed party. I followed, acting as a silent, withdrawn party, playing with the buttons of my sweater rather than answering any of the student mediators' questions—a situation the trainers have seen in actual mediations. Berengere Dumont (MALD '01) followed my performance with a rendition of a talkative party—rambling on endlessly of her love of dance, her performances, and her participation in the Indianapolis 500.

Despite the lighthearted setting, there were many serious moments and discussions—of mediation techniques, of the impact of culture and gender in mediations, and of the ethics of being a mediator. Mediation is supposed to be a voluntary process, but sometimes parties feel compelled to participate. It should be confidential, but there must be some limits to confidentiality—sometimes mediators become aware of spousal or child abuse, for example. We ended the final session with a discussion of these and other ethical considerations. As we struggled with these ideas, we noted that people had incorporated "mediator-speak" into their comments, even though we were not in a simulation at the time. For example, a student would comment, "What I think you're saying—and correct me if I'm wrong—is…," unconsciously using the words and phrases that are used in mediations.

Many participants plan to put their mediation training to use in the months to come. MWI has offered us the chance to participate in court-based or community mediations that involve immigrants, working with an experienced co-mediator, while taking advantage of Fletcher students' international interests and language abilities. However, some students have already had the chance to use their newly-acquired mediation techniques—Nikki Sayres (MALD '00) mentioned that she had used "interactive listening skills" recently, with her own mother.

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