Divorce & Marital FAQs
Q: What is mediation?
A: Mediation is a productive and non-adversarial process for resolving disputes. Mediation involves option exploration and decision making necessary to reach equitable agreements in light of each participant's values, resources and needs.
Q: What is a mediator?
A: A mediator is a trained professional who helps people with differences have productive conversations. A mediator does not make decisions for the parties. Rather, a mediator provides an environment for parties to negotiate effectively. A mediator assists both parties to define the issues, recognize interests, facilitate the generation of options and write an agreement.
Q: What is divorce mediation?
A: Divorce mediation creates an opportunity for couples to work out the terms of their divorce in less time, with less cost, and often with less hostility and fewer lasting negative effects. Unlike the traditional court processes, mediation encourages couples to take control over the outcome by making their own decisions. Our professional mediators will not make decisions for you. They are trained to help people with differences have productive conversations and will help you to identify and discuss issues important to you.
Q: What happens during divorce mediation?
A: With so much at stake, it is important for you to make informed decisions. MWI mediators will guide you through a checklist of the issues that need to be discussed and decided on in order to obtain a divorce in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. When all necessary topics have been covered and an agreement has been reached, the mediators will draft the appropriate documents for you. Couples typically spend 6 to 10 hours working with mediators in three to five sessions. MWI draws from a talented pool of mediators and offers flexibility in scheduling sessions, both in terms of location and appointment times.
Q: What happens outside of mediation?
A: In addition to the time spent with the mediators, each party may need to gather information in order to make informed decisions. Some people benefit from meeting with a financial analyst, mortgage broker and/or an attorney. MWI maintains a large referral listing of professionals for your convenience.
Q: What are the benefits of divorce mediation?
A: The benefits of divorce mediation include the participants' control over important decisions affecting their lives and futures (and those of their children); the discovery of unique and appropriate ways to resolve areas of disagreement and interpersonal conflict; a greater likelihood that the terms of the agreement reached will be honored in the future; a reduction of hostility between the participants; less trauma for the children involved; and growth in the ability of each participant to assert him or herself and to understand, articulate, and provide for his or her own needs.
Q: What if you are not sure whether you want to get a divorce?
A: The framework of Divorce Mediation can also be used to serve couples who have concerns about whether to stay together or not. There might be issues that are difficult to speak about, such as finances, parenting or lifestyle choices. Trained mediators can assist such couples in identifying issues and brainstorming options, which address each person’s concerns and interests. A free half-hour session is provided in order to explain mediation and address questions and concerns about the process. If both people agree to go forward with mediation, an “agreement to participate in mediation” contract will be signed by the parties and the mediators. The session would then proceed with everyone identifying an agenda. Issues are identified and introduced for later discussion. If the parties wish, the mediators can draft a “memorandum of understanding” reflecting any agreements come to through mediation.
Q: How does divorce mediation differ from the traditional divorce process?
A: In the traditional divorce process, the husband and wife retain separate attorneys to handle the matters of their divorce and to provide legal advice. An attorney cannot represent both husband and wife, therefore, separate counsel is required. If a stalemate (inability to resolve issues) occurs, the process can become lengthy and expensive. In this adversarial process, the couple may view the dissolution of their marriage in terms of a "winner take all" attitude. If a settlement is not reached, the case could result in a trial. When this happens, decisions are literally taken out of the couples' hands. A judge will decide the outcome. Even if the case does not go to trial, the ordeal of trying to reach an agreement in an adversarial environment can leave the participants emotionally and/or financially unable to address post marital issues in a positive manner. The post marital issues could include co-parenting decisions, the ability to communicate with an ex-spouse, and any unexpected problem which could affect the original divorce agreement (such as job loss, health insurance loss, serious illness, etc.).
Divorce mediation requires the active participation of both parties. Together, they meet with the mediator in an atmosphere that promotes understanding and a fair outcome. Important decisions - many with long-term implications - will remain in the hands of the parties involved. Divorce mediation provides a forum to discuss each issue in a manner which maintains the respect and integrity of each participant. The cost of reaching an agreement in mediation is less than 10% of a contested divorce.
Q: Does the mediator try to figure out what went wrong with the marriage or help the couple find reasons to stay together?
A: No. The mediator does not encourage or discourage a couple's decision to separate or divorce. Mediation is not counseling or therapy and the mediator will not provide such services. In many cases, participants find the mediation a healing and strengthening process.
Q: Can a husband and wife reach a mediated agreement if either one or both parties is angry?
A: Yes. When a couple decides to separate or divorce, the events of the past and the fear of the future can affect the emotions of one or both parties. Although these emotions are very real to one or both parties, the mediator will assist parties to better understand and work through their emotions while still focusing on reaching a mutually beneficial solution. The mediator is there to support both parties as they work to decide on the important issues facing each individual.
Q: Can either party stop the mediation process and/or consult an attorney?
A: Yes. In addition, both parties are encouraged to consult separate attorneys before, during and after the process. Before any agreement is finalized, both parties are encouraged to review the written agreement with separate counsel. In addition, divorce mediation is 100% voluntary. Either one or both of the parties can request the process to end at any time.
Q: If a couple pursues the traditional divorce process (each with separate attorneys) and they reach an impasse on one or two issues, can a mediator assist with the resolution of these issues?
A: Yes. Mediation can be used for an entire divorce agreement or a portion thereof. For example, if a couple needs mediation services to settle a visitation issue only, the mediator can be of assistance. The same holds true for any issue appearing in the divorce agreement.
Q: Where can I learn more about divorce mediation?
A: There are a number of ways that you can get additional information about MWI's Divorce Mediation Services:
- Contact us to schedule a no-charge 30 minute meeting with a mediator to get your questions answered. Appointments are held during the day, evening and weekends in Boston, Jamaica Plain, Natick, Norwood, Quincy, Westborough, Winchester, Weymouth, and Worcester.
- Potential clients and referral sources can also attend the divorce mediation class, “Divorce Mediation: Information You Want to Know”. This workshop is held on the third Tuesday of each month at 5:30 PM and will address what happens in divorce mediation, from the first mediation session to filing for a 1A no-fault divorce in Massachusetts. For more information or to register, click here or contact Josh Hoch at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or call 617-973-9739 x23.
- Click on the live help button at the bottom right-hand side of this page to instantly chat with Josh Hoch, Mediator and Director of Mediation & Arbitration Services.
Q: Who should I contact if I have additional questions or would like to discuss the specifics of my situation?
A: MWI's Director of Mediation & Arbitration Services, Josh Hoch, is available to answer your questions and provide additional information. He can be reached by phone (617-973-9739 x23 or 800-348-4888 x23) or by email at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or by clicking the button below.
