February 12, 2020
You’re thinking about divorcing. You’re in the process of divorcing. You’re divorced. Regardless of your status in the separation spectrum, if there’s ever a time in your life when you’ve needed a deep bench of coaches, therapists, and resources, it’s now.
Whether you’re safe in the hands of trusted counselors or bootstrapping your way through the confusion of uncoupling, these self-help classics can help you make the best of the complicated conditions confronting you. Below, meet 11 experts who believe you are worthy of creating healthy relationships with your wallet, court, kids, heart, mind, and spirit.
The secret to happiness is to acknowledge and transform suffering, not to run away from it. In No Mud, No Lotus, Thich Nhat Hanh offers practices and inspiration transforming suffering and finding true joy.
Thich Nhat Hanh acknowledges that because suffering can feel so bad, we try to run away from it or cover it up by consuming. We find something to eat or turn on the television. But unless we’re able to face our suffering, we can’t be present and available to life, and happiness will continue to elude us.
Nhat Hanh shares how the practices of stopping, mindful breathing, and deep concentration can generate the energy of mindfulness within our daily lives. With that energy, we can embrace pain and calm it down, instantly bringing a measure of freedom and a clearer mind.
No Mud, No Lotus introduces ways to be in touch with suffering without being overwhelmed by it. “When we know how to suffer,” Nhat Hanh says, “we suffer much, much less.” With his signature clarity and sense of joy, Thich Nhat Hanh helps us recognize the wonders inside us and around us that we tend to take for granted and teaches us the art of happiness.
2. It Doesn’t Have to Be That Way, by Laura Wasser
It’s no secret that the divorce rate in America is more than half the marriage rate. Yet the means for dissolving a relationship often seem hopelessly mired in an outdated perception of how it’s supposed to be done.
Wasser acknowledges that this generation’s realities have evolved greatly since the previous generation’s in almost every way, and that they want to get divorced cheaply and efficiently and maintain control of the process themselves.
The daughter and partner of a prominent Los Angeles Family Law attorney, she has a deep history in the field, and she knows the available roads to uncontested resolution like nobody else. At times psychologist, at times strategist, and distinctly of this generation, Laura and her book will offer readers safer passage through what can be a devastating time, emotionally and financially.
3. The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness, by Dave Ramsey
Okay, folks, do you want to turn those fat and flabby expenses into a well-toned budget? Do you want to transform your sad and skinny little bank account into a bulked-up cash machine? Then get with the program, people. There’s one sure way to whip your finances into shape, and that’s with The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition.
By now, you’ve heard all the nutty get-rich-quick schemes, the fiscal diet fads that leave you with a lot of kooky ideas but not a penny in your pocket. Hey, if you’re tired of the lies and sick of the false promises, take a look at this—it’s the simplest, most straightforward game plan for completely making over your money habits. And it’s based on results, not pie-in-the-sky fantasies.
With The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition, you’ll be able to:
Includes new, expanded “Dave Rants” sidebars tackle marriage conflict, college debt, and more. All-new forms and back-of-the-book resources to make Total Money Makeover a reality.
Dive deeper into Dave’s game plan with The Total Money Makeover Workbook: Classic Edition. The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition is also available in Spanish, transformación total de su dinero.
Schedule a Meeting with a Mediator to Find Out if Mediation Can Be Helpful
4. Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way, by Gary Neuman
More than a hundred pieces of artwork from children of divorce will help you appreciate how kids perceive the experience. Dozens of special activities and fun exercises will help you communicate and get closer to your child. This guide shows you that divorce need not be an inevitable blot on children’s lives, but an opportunity for them to grow and strengthen the bonds with their parents.
5. Something Gained: 7 Shifts to Be Stronger, Smarter & Happier After Divorce, by Deb Purdy
This book can help if you’ve been divorced and you’re ready to:
By revising your perspective, you can find things to celebrate about what you learned and what you gained from your marriage and divorce experience.
If you’re ready to use your divorce as a springboard to your best life, this self help book can help.
Nonviolent Communication is the integration of four things:
Nonviolent Communication serves our desire to do three things:
7. Getting Back Out There, by Susan J. Elliott
Plenty of dating books offer advice on how to flirt or catch someone’s eye, but they won’t help you make better decisions during the selection process so you can find real love. Based on years of research and work with her own clients, Susan Elliott offers a proven plan that will help you to:
Examine past relationships for unfinished business and negative patterns
Identify warning signs and red flags
Keep your standards and boundaries high, even when you’re head over heels
Work through rejection, rebounding, and other bumps in the road
Decide when to take a relationship to the next level and when to say goodbye
With practical rules, strategies, and self-assessments—including tips for dating as a parent and dating online—Getting Back Out There will help you transition from your split to a happy, healthy new relationship.
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8. Overcoming Underearning(R): A Five-Step Plan to a Richer Life, by Barbara Stanny
Do you underestimate your worth?
Are you ready to go to the next level, but can’t seem to get there
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be an underearner. Underearners are self-saboteurs who don’t live up to their earnings potential, says Barbara Stanny, a financial educator, motivational speaker, and career counselor. Whether they make $10 an hour or six figures a year, they tend to live paycheck to paycheck, are often in debt, and have a high tolerance for low pay. Ironically, many work incredibly hard. The good news is that underearning is a self-imposed condition. By focusing on overcoming it, underearners will not only earn what they deserve, but live a richer life. With techniques and exercises that have helped thousands of people, Stanny teaches five essential steps to financial independence and brings a message of empowerment to all those who chronically undervalue themselves.
9. Have a Nice Life Asshole: Breakup Stress Reliever Adult Coloring Book
It’s called a breakup because it is broken.
10. The Wisdom of a Broken Heart, by Susan Piver
In the years following her own experience, relationship writer Susan Piver searched the world’s wisdom traditions and discovered that heartbreak can be an uncompromising teacher of authenticity, power, and even joy. She shares that wisdom here, with instantaneously recognizable anecdotes, insights, on-the-spot practices, exercises, meditations, and down-to-earth advice that make The Wisdom of a Broken Heart a steadying prescription of solace and encouragement, wisdom and humor during the hardest time of your life. Like an infinitely patient, trusted friend, Piver tells you in a thousand different ways the most important thing to remember and the easiest to forget: “You’re going to be okay.”
“This book by don Miguel Ruiz, simple yet so powerful, has made a tremendous difference in how I think and act in every encounter.” — Oprah Winfrey
“Don Miguel Ruiz’s book is a roadmap to enlightenment and freedom.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success
“An inspiring book with many great lessons.” — Wayne Dyer, Author, Real Magic
“In the tradition of Castaneda, Ruiz distills essential Toltec wisdom, expressing with clarity and impeccability what it means for men and women to live as peaceful warriors in the modern world.” — Dan Millman, Author, Way of the Peaceful Warrior
Are you aware of other transformative books related to divorce or post-divorce? If so, please comment and share below!
Contact Vanessa Linsey at 617-895-4027 or vlinsey@mwi.org with any questions regarding books or resources.
To learn more about how mediation can help during or after divorce, contact Josh Hoch at 617-895-4028 or jhoch@mwi.org.
